Self-Imposed Limitations
17 Friday Feb 2012
Written by Mark in Adoption, Friends and Family, Mindset
Do you remember when you were a kid and imagined all of the cool things you could be or do? So many thoughts of astronauts, or lion tamers, or ballerinas, or football players; of going to the moon, or hitting a home run, or discovering a new type of animal, or inventing a great new gadget. Once upon a time, we actually believed that we were “wonderfully and fearfully made,” that we could do anything we could imagine or dream. Then, something tragic happens to almost every child: we’re told to stop being silly, to stop daydreaming so much, to get serious and accept our limitations. ”Only truly special or talented or lucky people can do those things that you are talking about.” We resist, we fight, we try to hold on, until the weight of everyone’s opinions and doubts crush our dreams. When those dreams die, a little part of us dies along with them. And we accept it as normal, as they way things are supposed to be, and we move on into the limitations that others have placed on us, and rarely think back on what we really wanted, or think anymore about those silly little dreams.
It’s all too easy to believe the limitations. After all, it seems like so few people are ever really happy, or spend their time doing something that they love. Most of us dread Monday mornings because we have to go back to work. We get excited on Wednesday because the week is half over, and we get downright giddy when Friday comes along and we get a whole weekend to do whatever we want (which too often means sitting around doing nothing). Growing up, I never heard anyone say that they loved – or even enjoyed – their jobs. Yet they continued to stay in that job, year after year, simply accepting that work was supposed to be just that – work. So it’s ingrained in us that working a job is a necessary evil that one needs to do in order to survive in this world. It’s something to be tolerated, but not something to look forward to.
Why? Why do we allow this to happen? We are God’s highest creation! The human mind is amazing, and we are capable of unbelievable things. But they should not be unbelievable. The simple fact that one person has ever been able to successfully follow their dreams is all the proof that we need that we can achieve our dreams as well. Maybe we can’t be a professional quarterback, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot achieve a level of success that allows us to create the kind of lives that would make professional athletes envious. We need to “unlearn” all of the harmful, limiting beliefs that have been foisted upon us by society, and embrace the fact that we are capable of so much more. But the first step is believing that we can be, do and have much more than we are currently allowing ourselves to believe.
My wife and I have 9 biological children, and we are in the process of adopting a teenage girl from an orphanage in China. We have been criticized for having so many children, criticized by people we love. I honestly can’t remember the last time people seemed genuinely excited or happy for us that we were having another child. I’ve had people that I only casually know tell me that I needed to stop having children. I understand that most people think that they don’t have the money, or the space, or the patience, or fill-in-the-blank-with-any-other-excuse-you-can-think-of, but just because they have chosen to limit themselves does not mean that I accept their limits for my life. I don’t say that with an air of superiority, or that I think I’m better than anyone else, because I’m not, but I cannot live my life based on others opinions or limiting thoughts.
No one should allow others to steal their dreams. I know we’re fighting an uphill battle on this front, because, let’s face it, we aren’t taught to think in these terms. We’re taught limits. But if God has not seen fit to place such limits on us, why should we let others?
I want to thrive, not just survive.
- Mark


4 comments
February 17, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Thank you so much for sharing this!!!! This is so incredibly encouraging, you have no idea…or maybe you do!
Though our family is not the size of yours…we only have 6 children
, my husband and I can pretty much identify with everything that you described when it comes to comments and attitudes toward large families. We had heard many of the same comments, suggestions from family members, other Christians, strangers…you name it. Many of the comments came when our children were younger and within their earshot….to the point where their little hearts owned the comments. I would hear from their own mouths repeated comments that they had heard…ie “there are too many kids, etc” Our hearts became broken at the criticism, ridicule, mockery and suggestions that we have surgery, stop having children, etc. Some people even approached us in anger as if our choice was directly impacting them. It hurt our hearts at the responses we would receive….but we knew that this was God’s plan for our lives. It got to the point, where I started creating smart alec comments as comebacks. They were amusing to come up with…some of them amusing to hear..and made the point. We are happy with the family that God has created us to be!!!
Today, much healing has taken place. Our children are much older now, and even they embrace what God has chosen for our family. I have a few even being open hearted and open handed with their future family.
In college, when I met my sweetheart, I would never have dreamed at the plans that God had for our lives. When my husband and I were discussing how many children we would want to have..I would say 2 and he would say 3. We joke now that we both received what we desired…since God is the God of multiplication. haha!! I would never ever trade His plan for my own self limiting plan. His is good and perfect. We are so incredibly blessed…and very thankful!!! He knows the plans for us….and they are gorgeous plans to prosper us, not to harm us. Plans to give us a hope and a future!!!! Every single one of us!!!
Thank you again for sharing this!
Sincerely,
Tracy
February 17, 2012 at 9:04 pm
Tracy,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your heart! Sounds like we compared notes prior to my post! I think some people find it much easier to criticize rather than encourage, unfortunately. There’s a great line in an old Petra song that I’ve mentioned before, and that is, “I’d rather be a fool in the eyes of man than a fool in the eyes of God.” I pray that we both hold fast to His will for our lives!
Mark
Mark recently posted..Self-Imposed Limitations
March 7, 2012 at 8:49 am
Mark … just read your Feb 17th blog. Had no idea this wonderful “platform” existed. I think you and Diane actually have the family that alot of folks wish they had. You have beautiful, funny and kind children and the love you and Diane have for them is so obvious and beautiful to witness. Am very proud of my niece and her hubby. And, I might add, love those beautiful animals you have.
March 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Thanks, Aunt Dot, I really appreciate your kind words!